Question from Mike Z…What would you do if you won the lottery?
What a spectacular way to start off a new entry. Oddly enough, I think about this question twice per week. Do other people consistently fantasize about winning the lottery? As I am driving home from school, there is a Mega Millions sign that displays how much the current jackpot is worth. I always like to divide by two, and think about what I would do with $30 million. While Scarface mounds, weeks in the VIP room at the Rhino, and putting it all on 23 red seem like viable options, I have a pretty structured plan on what I would do with $30 million. To begin, I don’t visualize myself jumping for joy like the rest of the world would be. It’s only money and you can’t croak with it. The first thing I would do is call a lawyer, but not just any lawyer. I need someone that represents some high profile celebrities because I would feel confident that they would know how to handle a large sum of money. Richard Hutton represents Paris Hilton, so I am assuming he’d be capable of representing me. I would probably take the cash option as well. I don’t want to risk dying 10 years from now and only receive a portion of my winnings. I will invest the money myself. I have enough smart friends around me that could help me with this. So we’ll say I have $20 million cash to play with. The first thing I would do is take care of my family. They could have anything they wanted. From houses to cars, I would make sure my Mom, Dad, and brother were set for the rest of their lives. Mom and Dad would get a million on top of whatever they wanted. I know my father would want a 1941 Willys, so that would be a top priority for me, and I think my Mom would want to live on the beach. I would say were now down to $18.5 million. My brother automatically becomes my assistant and gets to live the good life with me. I don’t know what his job entails, but it’s probably a pretty sweet job. A million goes to charity, but over the course of time. There are always places I want to donate money to, but I want to do it on my terms. Breast Cancer Research Foundation, Habitat for Humanity, and Action Against Hunger are all places that I would be giving some money to. OK, we’re down to $17.5 million, and I have an excellent public image. Now it’s time to have some fun. I would throw a party in Vegas for my 100 closest friends. I will fly everyone there, put everyone in the Bellagio for 4 nights, and live like a rock star. I will take a boat trip to Amsterdam. I hate flying, so busses, boats, and trains are going to be heavily depended upon to allow me to travel. What’s it matter anyways how long it takes to get places? Time is irrelevant when you have this much money. I would also buy a tour bus to travel the country in, and hire a driver to take me everywhere. I would buy luxury condos in Cleveland, Vegas, LA, NYC, and Florida. Purchasing these would allow me to have some assets that aren’t cash. We’re having fun, money is dwindling, and we have around $14 million left, but a lot of vacation spots that are also assets. Here’s the fun stuff that I would do if I had a lot of money. Season tickets courtside for the Cavs, Browns season tickets on the 50 yard line, tour with the Dave Matthews Band, attend the Super Bowl every year, attend the NBA Finals every year, crazy trips to Best Buy, Escalade, Bentley Coupe, Maserati, and attend unlimited concerts. Once all of this gets boring, I will take a million and try to create a profitable company with a few of my brightest friends. I think I should be left somewhere around $10 million, maybe more. I have ten very close friends that would also be taken care of in various ways. The ten million I have left over would be put toward low risk investments. The way I see it, I could never go broke with $20 million, and I could have a ridiculously good time. Tuesday evening, I am going to win the $170 million jackpot. So, if I like you, you can expect a call Wednesday morning.
The Killing Cavaliers
Isn’t it nice to root for a legit championship contender? As I watched the miserable Browns game Sunday, I couldn’t help but think just how great Cleveland fans are. The Cavs are 20 games into the season, and the fans are really into every game the Cavs play. The Titans have lost once, and the fans of Tennessee sounded like they just heard the news that Elvis died. I am fully aware that the Cavs aren’t just beating teams, they are embarrassing them, but let’s not crown the Cavs the best team in basketball just yet. Don’t get me wrong, you don’t make your own schedule, but the Cavs current eight game winning streak consists of one team with a winning record, and a combined winning percentage of .374. I know the Cavs are good, but until they beat Boston consistently, and in a seven game series, Boston is the team to beat. Boston has shown absolutely no sign of slowing down either, and do have a better record than the Cavs. But damn, this Cavs team is a powerhouse. If things keep up the way they are, I love our shot to win the whole thing. It’s amazing that this team is so deep, we only need LBJ for 30 – 35 minutes per night. Imagine how fresh Bron’s legs are going to be when the Cavs enter an epic seven game showdown with the Celtics. I can’t ask for much more from the Cavs right now. This is the type of team Cleveland deserves.
Bye Bye Browns
This team is dead to me. Once the season is over and Romeo Crennel is fired, I will write a very long piece on the future of the Browns. If you made it to the end of the game Sunday, you saw something that explains this organization as a whole. With the game far out of reach for Cleveland, and only a few seconds remaining in the game, Titans players slammed Ken Dorsey to the turf on back to back plays. On one of the two plays, a Titans player clearly jumped the snap, and unloaded on that poor quarterback. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Not one player on the offensive side of the ball retaliated in Dorsey’s defense. Instead, the sputtering offense wobbled around as if they’d just taken a trip to Lil Wayne’s tour bus. The team lacks emotion, focus, and effort all day long. Come to think of it, the Browns play on the field is reflective of their emotionless, lazy, moronic coach. Being a players coach worked well in New England with veterans that understood the ins and outs of the game, but it doesn’t come close to working with a team loaded with talented youth. Oh, and why wasn’t the Braylon Edwards catch challenged? I think that the Browns are going to draft seventh, and pick USC linebacker Rey Maulaluga. I would be more than pleased with a pick like that, or do we need a running back? I’m so frustrated with this team right now.
Top Five Fads
I haven’t done this one yet, and I thought it might be a good time to bring back top 5’s. People seemed to enjoy this when I used to update frequently. Here are five random fads from the 90’s. This list is reflective of the fads that I paid attention to, thought were cool, had a thought on, or even took part in. Feel free to add some of your own.
5. Overalls 
Are you kidding me? Remember when people would wear a pair of overalls with one of the two hooks undone? I can’t believe people actually bought into this stupid fad. I remember when I was in elementary school, I would think, ”Damn, that dude is such a bad ass because he’s wearing his overalls like a gangster.” These days, if I saw someone like that, I would be forced to destroy them.
4. Slap Bracelets 
I remember when these took the world by storm. Everyone in class would have a few and play with them constantly. Who would have thought that some flexible piece of stainless steel, with some weird design would keep a generation of kids so content? I know a lot of you guys and girls will remember this one. I liked these things back in the day.
3. Laser Pointers 
There was a stretch of time where these things wreaked havoc on peoples lives. Teachers, athletes, and musicians were forced to deal with little asshole kids wanting to shine lasers into their eyes. Unsurprisingly, these little gadgets were banned from everything pretty fast. What a concept laser pointers were, I think I’m going to pick one up this week. I got into trouble one time for shining one in my neighbor’s house at 4 in the morning. Oops.
2. Tamagotchi 
So let me get this straight. You want me to pretend like a small electronic device is a baby, AND you want me to take care of it by pressing a button on the device? This was China’s attempt to control population. Unfortunately, its attempt turned into a huge American fad. I never had one of these because they were so dumb, but when I reflect, I am baffled by this product. Why have kids when you can have a Tamagotchi? If Jamie Lynn Spears was around when these were popular, she wouldn’t be stuck with the extra baggage, I know it.
1. Pogs 
“Are we playing for keeps?” I remember that question being asked on a daily basis in elementary school. Let’s take some cardboard, make an awesome design on it, and sell it to the youth of America. I used to collect these stupid pieces of cardboard like there was no tomorrow. Remember the slammers? Nothing mattered as long as your slammer was cooler than your opponents. I had one of the torpedo slammers Anyone still have their pogs?
Honorable Mention
Furbys, Skip It, Talkboy, FUBU, Koosh Balls, Tickle Me Elmo
My Mind Is On Music
40 years ago John Landau said he saw the future of rock n roll, and its name was Bruce Springsteen. Last weekend at the Grog Shop, I saw the future of hip-hop, its name is Kid Cudi. Whites, blacks, geeks, hipsters, jocks, and gangsters were all into the hip-hop scene last Saturday on Coventry Road in Cleveland. It was a unique concert that commanded the attention of the city. Download the album here. I uploaded it myself, and it’s legal. I promise you won’t be disappointed. You have probably heard Day n Nite before, but it’s not nearly one of the best songs on this musical joyride. I met a friend in Coventry to do a meet and greet with Kid Cudi, and I also had the chance to interview him. I will post that sometime in the future. Scott Mescudi was a real cool dude that is overly appreciative of the current wave of success he is experiencing. You can also find Cudi on Kanye’s new album, on the tune Welcome to Heartbreak. Please Please Please Please download this album. You just might become a fan of hip hop. Just ask my coworkers.
This is a tune that was played at the Grog Shop, and will be featured on Cudi’s upcoming debut album, Man on the Moon. It’s called “Dose of Dopeness”
Six Jams to Check Out
Remember: If you click the title, it is a link to a youtube or a stream and completely legal.
The follow up to the album, How to Save a Life is due in stores this coming February. Check out this new single from one of the better bands on the planet. This is what music should sound like. This isn’t overly poppy, and sound magnificent
Fall Out Boy Ft. Lil Wayne – Tiffany Blews
Not sure what I think about this tune. I just downloaded the new FOB album, but haven’t listened to it yet. I’m interested because although a douche, Pete Wentz is a pretty creative cat.
XXL magazine is telling the world to watch this dude in 09. This beat samples Weezer’s “Say it Ain’t So” and Weezer isn’t happy about it. I’m not sure what I think about this dude yet, but some of his raps are pretty solid. Check out his website here, and you can download his mixtape.
VHS or BETA – Can’t Believe a Single Word
This band is slowly growing. Check out this tune and see what you think. Just a new band bringing something different to the music world, and I respect it, and even enjoy it.
Eminem – Number One (Unfinished)
Listen to this track. I don’t know if it’s going to be on Em’s new CD, or if it is something that will not be scrapped. It’s kind of cool because Eminem sings Dr. Dre’s verse in the song.
This band is doing big things, and a group I have been playing attention to for a while. I love the unique sound this band brings to the forefront. Kings of Leon are definitely a group I will be checking out next time they come to the Cleveland area.
YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Thanks Er for this gem of a clip. This is why you or I couldn’t ever win the national spelling bee. It takes geeks like this character to win the most coveted spelling title in the world.
Shout Out
I don’t really have anyone I want to say much to. I’ve been really busy with work lately, and also playing a lot of poker. I write so much at work, that it makes it tough to want to write for 5 hours when I get home. I’m looking forward to a handful of people coming back to the Cleveland area to celebrate Christmas and Chanukah. What’s everyone want for Christmas? I need a new iPod since mine was stolen out of my car a few months back. I need a new phone too, anyone have any advice? Storm, Iphone, Curve, Bold, Omnia, HTC Touch, I have no idea. Thanks for reading everyone. As always, music to play, plenty to say…..KJ
